Thursday 15 October 2009

Where has the fun gone?

So an update, what have I been doing with myself in the month or so since I last posted?
Well the answer really is not a lot, apart from trying to get on with my masters and thinking why the hell I am staying at my current university and not going to Le Bridge and getting slightly a bit too merry at a small staff drinks party.

The reason why I have been pondering as to whether it would have been better to have gone to Le Bridge is because most of my mates have moved on to pastures green. Current friends are off doing law conversion courses and asking me questions about contract law that I still don't know the answer to. It has all become a bit difficult to realise that I may have become a bit stagnant, apart from the main reasons I chose to stay at my current university, there are other factors now which I feel I should have taken into consideration, such as a social life!

There also seems to be a small part of me that wants more guidance as to how to be a "professional", a trend that I am picking up from blogs about the BVC is that this is instilled in you when you start the course, that it is the start of your professional life and the end of your student days. Why do my student days have to end now?!?! Where is the rolling in at 5am in the morning and going to tutorials severely hungover?!

I seem to be trapped in between being a post-grad masters student whilst also having the responsibility (or is it burden?!) of teaching undergraduates, with little guidance as to how I should be "behaving" professionally. I still have friends that are current undergraduates, yet I am now making friends with staff.

I wonder sometimes where I am to draw the line and getting perhaps slightly too paranoid about very small minor things that I am doing, which in my mind could possibly attract significant academic glare.

Whilst also re-learning criminal law to a sufficiently high standard that I can teach it, I also have the daunting aspect of writing a 20,000 word dissertation for my course.

Where has the fun gone from being a student?